


Wedding Blues

by inaudible_d



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inaudible_d/pseuds/inaudible_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jun and Mao is getting married in a week's time and Sho is the one who's feeling the blues. Or just basically nothing but Sho beats himself up about his (at least he thought) unrequited love for Jun which he realized way too late and Jun dodges Mao's question about Sho.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Blues

**Author's Note:**

> *takes a deep breath* oookay. I’m really sorry for this. This is nothing but Sho beats himself up about his (at least he thought) unrequited love for Jun which he realized way too late and Jun dodges Mao's question about Sho. Hate me all you want, but well you can always choose to not read. This is just me beating myself up to let go of an annoying thought that was caused by [this tweet](https://twitter.com/kiokuno_katachi/status/620031573702803456).

Sho takes a deep breath as he hears another waiting tone from his phone. This is not the first time he waits for Jun to pick up his call, they’ve done it since forever as he can remember, but still, this one makes him feel highly nervous.

“Yeah, Sho kun, what’s up?” Jun greets from the other line.

Sho jumps in his seat. He takes a deep breath in an attempt to try to calm himself down. What’s up, Sakurai Sho, he scolds himself. It’s just Jun.

“Ah, nothing. Just want to check on you. How’s everything going?” Sho replies, shuffling on his seat.

Sho swears he can hear how Jun smiles on hearing his question.

“Everything’s great, Sho kun. Thank you for asking,” Jun sounds genuinely happy from over the phone.

Of course Jun does, he _is_ happy, Sho knows that for sure. It just feels somehow weird that for that moment, Jun’s happiness is something that’s not related to him at all. Or Arashi, for that matter.

“I envy you, you know,” Sho doesn’t want to be so bitter, but somehow the words just come out. He’s sure Jun can hear how pungent he sounds, but he can’t help it. It’s how he really feels anyway.

“Hm? Why is that?” Now Jun sounds like his seventeen years old self, trying to find a way to console his Sho kun.

Sho smiles. All the time they spent together as senior and junior suddenly flashes before his eyes. He remembers the sweet, polite, obedient Jun, who followed him everywhere, who declared that he adores him to everyone who would listen. He remembers the strong-willed, tough, hard-working Jun, who came to discuss with him what other thing would be needed for Arashi to stand in better place than they were then. He remembers the easy-going Jun, who kept hinting that he, of all Arashi members, was the one who wants to be married the most compared to the rest of them.

He remembers Jun, and can’t help himself thinking, _I wish my dreams were as simple as yours, Jun_.

“You have a lot of days off now! While I’m here still struggling with my regular schedules and all,” he opts to tell Jun that instead.

They laugh together on that answer. Oh how Sho hopes that he could bottle up Jun’s laughter and keep it forever.

“You know I never want to actually be married with my job, Sho kun. It’s always you who does,” Jun replies lightly. “Besides, all I want was for us all to success. To reach a better place and to have fun while doing that. We’re there already. I can go chase my other dream now.”

“Which is getting married and raising a family of your own,” Sho completes his sentence.

Yeah, I already know that, Sho thinks bitterly. He smiles even though Jun won’t be able to see it. He smiles even though he feels like his heart is chopped into pieces. He smiles because it’s wrong to be sad if Jun is this happy.

“You should start to think about that too, Sho kun,” Jun adds suddenly, not giving any response on Sho’s completing his sentence before.

“About what?” Sho asks, still trying to pull himself together.

“Getting married and raising a family of your own,” Jun replies shortly.

“Well I...” Sho glances at the photograph beside his bed, “you know I’m a lost cause, Jun.”

“That’s because you’re not trying hard enough,” Jun starts his speech. At the same time, Sho hears someone calls Jun’s name cheerfully. Jun stops talking just by that and answers to the voice.

“Is that Mao chan?” Sho asks.

“Yes that’s her,” there’s the sound of Jun’s hand covering the phone, then a slight chuckle, “I’m sorry Sho kun, I think I have to hang up now.”

“Well then. Tell her I said hi, would you?” Sho says through his gritted teeth,

“I will,” Jun replies albeit distractedly, “yes, it’s Sho kun, he says hi!”

“Hi to you too, Sho kun!” Sho hears Mao’s cheerful voice from the other line. Seems like Jun brings the phone close enough to Mao for her to say hello to Sho.

Sho just smiles to that, ignoring his heart that feels like it’s burned down to ashes by the moment, “well, then, see you later, Jun.”

“Bye Sho kun!” Mao’s voice replies again from the phone before the line is cut off.

Sho reaches out to the frame he was looking at the whole time. It’s a photo of young him and Jun. He was on Jun’s back, Jun was hoisting him, they were on the beach. It was way before the fame reached them. It was when they were still on the same team, on the exact same boat, the ones who would do just anything to be the best. Time passed, their lives changed, Arashi is now the top idol of Japan. Or at least that’s what people say.

Somewhere along the way, they parted ways, Jun and Sho. While Sho was still busy finding ways to fulfill his dreams, Jun had moved on and found his own way. It’s not like Sho has that many or really hard of dreams he needed a long time to fulfill them, it’s just that, Sho wasn’t really sure about what he wanted. He was young, and didn’t have it in him yet to settle down for something. It was like, if he could reach all the things in the world, he would. So when he realized that what he wanted all along was already there in front of him for the longest time, it was already too late.

It’s inevitable, if Sho is being completely honest. Yes, Jun was always there for him no matter what happens, but it’s not like Jun was into him anyway. He always knows what Jun is always dreaming of, and he’s just a senpai Jun admires so much. _Admired_ the most. Of course he’ll grow out of it when both of them are old enough.

When Jun finally finds a way to fulfill his dream.

Sho groans. It’s a week before Jun’s wedding and he’s the one who’s feeling the blues. He knows it’s wrong. He shouldn’t be sad that one of his best friends is getting married. He shouldn’t be sad that one of the people he treasures the most in his life is living their dream.

He shouldn’t be sad that the one man he truly loves is now happy.

Sho lies down on his bed, still clutching the photograph dearly. He falls asleep not long after, a drop of tear is rolling down his cheek.

\---

“Are you sure Sho kun is okay?” Mao suddenly brings the topic when she’s out of the bathroom.

Jun glances at her direction with questioning look. _Are we really talking about him, of all things, now?_ Jun throws the question without sounding it out.

“I mean, Jun, I know what happened, okay, and I’m totally cool if you want to, I don’t know, call off the marriage or anything. I really don’t want things to be sour between you when we really get married,” Mao continues, brushing towel to his hair.

Jun sighs as he looks at her, he gestures with his hand for Mao to come closer.

“I’ve told you, it’s over, okay?” Jun says softly, “in fact, nothing has ever started anyway,” Jun adds, taking Mao’s hand in his.

“I have feelings for him, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that I want to keep chasing for nothing,” Jun pulls Mao closer to him, “I’ve given up on him about a decade ago, Mao, so please, can we stop talking about this for like, ever?” Jun looks straight to Mao’s face, eyes pleading.

Mao sighs on seeing how Jun looks at that time. He always denies it, he always says that it’s over, but she can see through everything. She knows that if one day something happens to Sho, Jun will be the first one to come and make sure that Sho is alright. But she also knows that Jun doesn’t love her less despite that. Sakurai Sho is holding a special place in Matsumoto Jun’s heart and it will always be like that however hard Jun tries to dodge the question.

Mao raises her hand to caress Jun’s face. You’re hopeless, she thinks. It’s a good thing we are best friends, she thinks.

Jun pulls Mao closer for a hug. He holds her close like he’s seeking for help.

“Let’s just, not talk about that ever again, okay?” Jun whispers on Mao’s ear. That time, he sounds somehow desperate.

Mao nods and caresses Jun’s back as an answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Hi again. *chuckles*  
> It's been a while since the last time I put on an end note, LOL.  
> Now hate me all you want, but trust me this hurt me so bad when I finished it I didn't even have the courage to post that. Thanks to the masochist Hikaru who told me to “go ahead and post it... although it's true that some people may "hate" it xDDD”  
> I wrote this some months ago when I began to see that Jun didn’t have any solo works despite his friends having regular shows (Aiba and Sho), new movie (Nino), also two art exhibitions in one year (Ohno). Seriously, I don’t know why this bugs me so much LOL. But what really made me finish this was the tweet I mentioned above. LOL, bad timing for gossip, dude. Seriously. xD


End file.
